VIRGINIA SWALLOWS

The virginia swallows were ushered into the ESFFL in 2003 by their brother-in-law and owner of the ambler emus, Frank Perlmutter. The team owner for the swallows, Dave Remick, stirred up quite the controversary upon joining the league. Dave initially chose d.c. donkeycocks as his team name, which immediately led to an outcry among some of the more conservative members of the league in regards to the decency of that nickname. Ultimately the team name was censored by league leadership, and thus Dave’s team was known as the “d.c. donkeys” for the first six years of their existence. It was evident that Remick was spending more time trying to find a loophole to create a new, equally lewd team name than he was trying to win fantasy football games, as the donkeys failed to reach the Johnson Cup Playoffs in each of their first six seasons. In 2009, Dave finally found that loophole, as he changed his team name to “virginia swallows,” which was reluctantly accepted by the ESFFL’s subcommittee on Team Name Appropriateness. The swallows missed the playoffs again in 2009, but started a run of six Johnson Cup Playoff appearances in seven years the following season, culminating in the franchise’s only division title in 2015. Unfortunately, the swallows were not able to advance beyond the first round of the playoffs in any of those seasons and haven’t returned the the Johnson Cup Playoffs since. Pundits point to an overreliance of New England Patriots’ players on their roster as the swallows’ typical downfall. They’ve rostered as many as nine Patriots at a time. When those Patriots are Tom Brady or Rob Gronkowski it’s typically not a problem, but when they are Brandon Bolden, Patrick Pass, Brandon LaFell, and Chris Hogan it’s a different story. The swallows will look to get back on track and start another run of playoff appearance when the 2022 season commences.
(capsule last updated on 6-March-2022)

Years Active:2003 to Present
All-Time Record (through 2021):107-161-4
Division Titles:1
Johnson Cup Playoff Appearances:5
VIRGINIA SWALLOWS OWNER – DAVE REMICK

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